The Path from Dependent Children to Independent Children
The Path from Dependent Children to Independent Children
It can be very daunting to send your child out into the real world, but here are some important equipment and information to help you along your journey.
6 Months to 1 Year
This period in a baby’s life is characterised by total dependence on her caregivers. But small as she is, the first seeds toward independence are sown here. The more her needs are met, the more she thrives and learns to trust other human beings. All you have to do is be there for your child, taking care of her physical needs, but also showering her with love.
Until the age of about 8 months, a baby seems to reach out socially to those around her. She will often smiles at strangers and will willingly go to them. That is why it comes as such a complete shock when this socially agreeable person suddenly, form about 8 months on, shows drastic changes in behaviour. She could become clingy even with secondary caregivers.
1 to 2 Years
At this age your child becomes mobile while learning to walk, which greatly boosts her sense of independence. She may actually run away if her mother approaches her with food or flee from someone who mentions its bath time. She may still turn away from strangers and cling to her primary caregivers, but could even react this way to loved ones she doesn’t often see, at least for the first few hours.
2 to 3 Years
The fear of strangers and separation from her primary caregivers usually ends around your child’s third birthday. However it is important to manage any of your child’s fears and not to reinforce them. Remember that your child experiences the world outside her little cocoon as threatening and dangerous. It is therefore necessary to expose her gradually to this outside world. The keyword is “gradually”. Parents need to remember that, at this age, a child’s perception of time has not been fully developed. They can’t remember that when you and her father went away for the last time, you returned home after three hours.
Stay calm in such an instance and tell her that you realize that she is afraid that you might not come back but that you are definitely returning in a short while. Try to keep the time of separation short at first, and gradually increase it.
3 to 4 Years
Broadly speaking your child should be able to:
- Pack away her toys
- Say please and thank you
- Perform basic tasks
- Know the names of her caregivers
- Play alone for short periods of time
- Play happily in the presence of other children
- Name basic objects in the house
- Go without nappies during the day
Let your child gain independence and autonomy by allowing her to butter her bread and pick up crumbs.
4 to 5 Years
Broadly speaking your child should be able to:
- Tell a basic story
- Say how old she is
- Eat with a fork and spoon
- Fasten her buttons and put on her shoes and socks
- Brush her teeth
- Ride a tricycle
- Know pronouns
- Have a bigger vocabulary
- Know six basic colours
At this age allow her to gain independence but keep in mind that although she is allowed to do things for herself, your daughter should still depend on her caregivers, as they provide the framework and safe boundaries within which she can experiment and make mistakes. Allow her to develop problem solving skills. At this age it is important to consider the type of programs she watches because she cannot separate fantasy and fiction.
5 to 6 Years
Broadly speaking your child should be able to:
- Speak fairly fluently
- Distinguish emotions
- Know her address
- Understand basic rules of games
- Dress and undress herself
- Run and kick a ball
- Know what things are made of
- Count up to ten
- Recognise the value of money
This is the time your child starts going to school. Take your child to the school before school starts to give her security. Explain to your child the purpose of school and show her what you will put in the lunchbox and explain a school uniform. Speak to her about where and when you will pick her up from school and give her a list of contact details. Most children start adapting to school after about 2 weeks, so show her lots of support especially at this stage.
[Your Child Magazine]
